前段时间刚刚从厦门回来正好碰到一个媒体的朋友。 我们聊天说到了中国人的价值观。 厦门这个地方原来是一个大红灯区。 厦门的经济有很大成分是走私和卖淫。现在城市已经建的越来越漂亮。这种生意也隐藏的更好了。 现在也变成了一个旅游城市。一个高科技城市，也有一个顶级的大学。 但到了这个城市，那些不靠谱的痕迹还是到处都有。 随便开一个旅游杂志就看到很多明显的广告。什么什么五星级饭店的广告。前面没有屋子的照片但是有100位服务员穿的很性感对的相机笑。旁边写的 “五星级服务让你十分满足." 或相类的介绍。

 

我跟我妈妈去的。她的背不好。我很傻的像找一个正常的按摩师给她按摩发现正经的比不正经的更难找多了。 但在中国现代的社会里，这并不是意外而是很正常的。甚至，很多人的观点是能在那种环境里得到这种“服务”就证明了你的社会地位。民工就是郊区路边“服务”，但大老板就是豪华包间跟模特或空姐。我的朋友说：“现在的人分不清楚高级和高贵。到处都是穿的LV开的FERRARI的流氓。钱靠煤矿，开特出服务夜店，走私，拆迁，砖窑，等等来的。但穿上名牌西服买两瓶法国酒就是个成功的企业家。他要是投资到一部电影或开个画廊还能边洗钱边被称呼文艺人。 其实这种人世界到处都有，但中国学的最快！”

 

我是一个比较开放的人，但是有时候我真看不管这个社会。也可能我还是很浪漫注意的希望爱情不是一种简单的交易。希望那些对社会有善的商人比那些贪污腐败的人更成功，希望大家能看到一个人的真像而不只看他身上挂的名牌。但我怀疑现在中国大部分人确实分不清楚高级和高贵。否则大家不会那么喜欢PARIS HILTON。

 

我们在2008年一月一日终于回到了独立的状态离开了华纳唱片公司.  在我们签在华纳的这几年, 唱片公司的老板已经换了几拨人. 我们也有很大的变化, 从10首作品到超过40首,音乐风格换了几次, 也找到了一种原来没有的自信. 在我们要马上发行EP的这几天,我终于感觉到这几年没白等. 一月中要发行的EP有了一个最适合我们的名字: "回到我". 这个歌对我很有意义的. 在音乐和做人这方面我曾经走过很多弯路, 现在要"回到我"应该走的那条路.

 

通过一些很大的生活经验, 我更了解了我想做什么样的人,适合做什么样的人. 在放弃原来稳定电视台的工作和大唱片公司的代理时, 我真的很害怕.  两年前, 大头第一次带我去唱片公司去谈判时,我一样很害怕. 当时我刚签华纳不久,但情况变的很糟糕因为一些华纳内部的问题. 但我当时能解约反而选择了留下来为了我还是相信我跟他们是有缘的. 现在我们失去了他们的保护和支持同时找到了自己的自由.  第一步 就是去申请中国最重要的音乐节. . .MIDI音乐节.  因为一些公司与公司中间的合作问题,我们一直没办法演MIDI音乐节.  现在我们就自己申请了MIDI音乐节. . . . 要是大家想支持或打个招呼去看看吧.

 

 

这就是我走的小小的第一步进入真正的独立. . . 真正的自游!

 

I used to hate Chinese TV mini-series. A few years ago they seem to be evenly split between insipid soap operas starring actress that seemed to be reading their lines just left of the camera, kung-fu history dramas with lots of indiscernable acrobatic fight scenes,and War War II history series featuring top ten reasons to hate the Japanese.  It always seemed that anyone, and I means just about anyone, with a HD camera and a tripod could make a bad TV Mini.  All they had to do was stretch a two hour story into a 40 episode nightmare and shoot all 40 in less than three months. 

 

But recently, there's been a steady rise in the level of good Chinese TV Mini-series.  I used to mock my mother's nightly campaign of channel surfing.  She would try her best to click between two stations as she tuned into two series at once.  The series would come out rapid fire, two to three episode blocks everyday for a month. But in the last few years, I fould myself sitting down to watch them with her.  The quality, I must admit, is getting much much better.  Gone now are the wobbly green tinted DV shot where you can see the shadow of the camera operator.  Gone are the scripts that feature 100 renditions of the line "I love you so much. Why do you ignore me?". The directors now seemed to have graduated from descent film schools, the camera operators know what depth means, and script writers are doing more than just stretching scenes out as long as possible. Even the actors are getting less pretty and better at acting.

 

What's more stunning is that the mini-series is becoming a kind of national news culture, picking up current events and buildling off of them with the kind of speed that used to be expected only from the west.  The censorship that used to be the dictator of content has also taken a strange turn for the liberal side.  I was watching with jaws agape at a recent prime-time mini that featured a story line I never thought could have passed Chinese censorship.  The story-line featured local police who were being bribed and handled by a kidnap and prostitution establishment with government connections, and one brave cop's difficult political journey to stop the prostitution.  Another mini-series featured a story about how the Nationalists helped out the Communists during World War II.  Even through it still boasted at least ten reasons to the hate the Japanese, suprisingly, the story had "American" heroes as well. In past mini's the victory in War War II used to be attributed soley to the Communist party. There's even been a great number of fantastic recent history mini-series featuring people who lived through the tumultuous Cultural Revolution and all the the injustices and stupidities of that era depicted in surprisingly truthful detail. One great line went roughly something like, "Look how much you've given to the party, and they put you in a dunghill." 

 

Media in China has always been a mix of entertainment and propoganda, so whenever the content starts to change, I always wearily ask myself what's the catch.  Just 20 years ago, when most people still lived in housing that didn't have flushing toilets, the official line had always been "Everything is beautiful. Everything is great!"  A cloud never floated over Zhong Nan Hai unless some other country put it there, and the Government was always good.  If you listen to the Nightly National News, that's still mostly the message today.  Everywhere else is bad, but China is perfect (or in the process of developing perfection).  But meanwhile in the land of TV drama's -- corruption, greed, sex, intrigue, bad guys in a powerful places, historical adjustments on long accepted lies, even the occasional apology to the left behind rural villagers whom have never had their share of China's Rapid Development.

 

Mind you, the criticism of government never goes beyond the local level, and in the good cop vs. bad cop senario, the good cop always wins. No matter how wiggly the story goes along the way, the bad guys always get their just deserts and it's mary bloody sunshine at the end of the day.  But still, thinking back on the days as a producer and reading my huge bible of politically unacceptable things in programming, this new era of TV mini's is inspiring me to think. . . hmmm what's next.

 

Has China's new leadership been convinced that freedom of artistic expression is the only way to create a great culture and not just functional country? Or is this just another form of public brain-washing to serve some new political agendas?  Does this mean that after the Olympics, China will see increasing open public debate about serious political issues? Or will things go back to normal, and insipid story lines featuring acting factory produced pretty boys and girls to be the mind placebos of the next decade?

 

It's hard to say, but I can make one possible connection between the rising freedom to tackle possibly insindiary topics like corruption, social inequalities, and historical injustices with the rise of the confidence in the current Chinese leaders.  After recent political referredums including -- the start of a subsidies system for farmers, nationalized free or cheap healthcare for rural residents, and new programs to slowly remove the registration system that greatly damaged the ability of migrant workers to educated their future generations -- the new government no longer seems to fear a massive uprising of the poor discontent. 

 

The new campaign is education. The financial network teachs the average retiree how to figure out the maze of the stock market.  The law shows run through the complicated rules of China's still establishing legal system. The regional networks goes so far as to teach farmers what's the acceptable amount of fertilizer to use in different types of soil. At the heart of this blend of social messages, education on social responsibility, and mass entertainment is the TV-Mini.  In recent years their main moral themes seem to come less from Communism and more from Confusciusism and Taoism.

 

Perhaps it all comes down to one simple political fact. When you no longer fear your people, you no longer need to keep your people in blind hate and fear to control them. You can allow them to get the information and make logical choices, in line with the governments logical descisions. (Perhaps the U.S. is best model of the antithesis of that senario).

 

Still, before we give all the big massive heads too much credit, lets not forget that censorship is still very very prevalent.  There are some issues, which we will not mention here, that will never be addressed.  There are still some regions which which remain under a terrible and unfair pressure from the central state whom will never be allowed to freely voice their grievances.  Certain things in the next few years will not appear in the TV-Mini, and if they do, they will not be broadcasted.  But let's hope the current trend continues, and China will continue to be more confident, better guided, more open, and that we will all ultimately get better television.   

 

最近我收到了很多朋友的婚礼邀请书．我看到它们堆在我的办公桌上避免不了对自己的生活有些疑问．我努力了怎么多年，到底得到了什么？付出了什么？牺牲了什么？　每次跟家属在一起都会听到他们说　＂你年龄不小了，也该稳定下来了＂．我告诉他们我会努力，但一旦我想到办公室的工作，老实的丈夫，贷款买的房子，贷款买的车，和贷款上私教的两为宝贝我就心里充满了恐惧．这些对多数人是生命中的重大目标而对我反而是黑暗的笼子．

 

在他们提责任的时候，我偶尔会告诉他们我的理想．但最近我一对他们提到理想就跟我在宣布我想当乞丐一样．＂什么什么理想！理想是小孩子玩的，到你的年龄不如考虑现实！＂　每次家里有一个大聚会也会有一两个亲亲排地我肩膀提醒我我的生育能力是有时限的．　越说越过分，好象要是我不马上处理我就会生一个绿色的哑巴怪物．

 

但生育能力的时限并不是他们唯一的话提：我来总结一下他们告诉我要是我持续玩＂摇滚这个玩儿＂的后果．　他们说：

 

＂我看那些超级女生没一个过２１岁．你也过了他们的青春样子．我看你在玩摇滚这个玩儿，在玩几年，你也就没什么前途了．老在台上那么蹦蹦跳跳在你这个年龄，我说没一个好男人能看上这样的女人．你看哪个谁谁谁的女儿，在银行工作了六年．房子刚买下来，也年头收入最起码几十万了．你这个六年在干什么那？老在那种烟雾腾腾的酒吧里，还那么吵，没老那你就会得肺癌或把耳头能聋了．玩音乐也没有医疗保险啊．要是你跟松祖英那样能唱点老少都喜欢的那种音乐还好，比如说唱个爵士版的中国传统民歌像＂在那遥远的地方＂这样的好听歌多好．一下就红了，一天上春晚．但你看．你就去那些脏忽忽的酒吧里唱给谁听啊？　这些人你过了３０岁还听你唱吗？他们准保找个年轻一点的姑娘在台上蹦蹦跳跳．你也干吗那骄傲啊．就算你想做音乐，那不如当个制作人像给王菲做的那个人．家里有个亲亲正在做一个选绣节目．你说不如给他们那些选锈出来的年轻歌手做音乐．别自己老玩只种．．．地下音乐．你知道为什么这玩儿叫地下音乐？因为玩着玩着，你就变成了一个４０多岁的完全聋的,得癌正的,没孩子的,单身女人住在地下室里天天检破烂来负医疗费．＂

 

我说, "那我考虑以下吧".

 

一年前, 我跟些朋友去三里屯玩. 刚刚出酒吧门准备回家时我们看到了一群少年乞丐正在马路中间玩游戏. 虽然他们满脸都是鼻涕,穿着邋遢的衣服,但他们依然很开心. 他们不是在跟路过的人要钱而自己在用一些撒在地上的夜店宣传报创造各种各样的游戏. 我看他们很可爱就问他们这些游戏怎么玩,他们很耐心的教我怎么拔这张垃圾海报变成玩具.

 

在我们玩儿的最开心的时候,突然我们看到了一位满身都是名牌的时尚青年正在骂一个小乞丐. 这个时尚青年明显地喝醉了. 他把手里的食物扔在地上还踩一脚. 一个手指头指的孩子的头喊着　"你他妈的给我跪下来,把只个捡起来吃了,我才给你钱."

 

我发现旁边所有路过的时尚青年低头无言的继续走,好象没有注意到一切正在发生的事情. 但我和朋友感觉到无法压制的愤怒, 同时发表我们这些理想注意青年最常用的抵抗台词

 

"　傻屄！＂ 

 

突然这个时尚青年把他的注意转到我们的身上．　看我们是两为姑娘，他就晕晕的过来说　＂为什么你觉得我是个傻屄？＂　就这样，讨论就开始了．他不认为自己是傻屄，而我们很清楚这个人是个傻屄，也耐心的对这个很傻屄的人来结实为什么他是一个傻屄．但因为他很傻屄，我们越结实他边的越傻屄．突然从酒吧里出来了一群他的歌们儿．这个人的勇气就往上升了一个台阶，从准备欺负孩子到准备欺负姑娘．但在他正要动手的那一刻，突然一个朋友的乐队看到了我们．　他们正在从傍边的酒撤当天演出的设备一无所知的过来跟我打招呼．这位时尚青年看到了五位来自新疆的状汉长发飘飘，带着鼓架，音箱，等等又失去了刚有的勇气．他的朋友正好开了一辆车过来接他．他很快的逃进车里，等已经有点距离了以后，审处窗户里骂了我们几句开走了．　

 

我的那些新疆乐手朋友问我他是谁．　我说　＂一个傻屄＂

 

过了这个时间我们也准备回家了．前面离我们不远正好有一辆出祖汽车．我们跟孩子们告别了．他们一直扦着我们的手送我们上车．刚刚上车发现了这辆出租汽车有在我上千辆坐过的出租汽车里最好的一套音响．还没有启动前，司机就赶快那出来一张正般ＣＤ盘放在ＣＤ机里．音乐开始后，他回头笑着对我说＂你刚才干的哪个事我看见了．挺牛屄的．＂

 

我们开了几分钟以后，他停在一个红灯时有回头问我们　＂你知道这个音乐是谁的吗？＂

 

我细听了以下，就很尴尬的说＂这不是崔健吗．＂

 

司机大笑了一场　＂说对了．他就是我的偶像．＂

 

到了我的家门，我开始拿我的钱包．司机又转头一边说，＂不用了，不用了．这趟免费．赶快下车把．回家注意安全啊．＂

 

曾经崔健写过一首歌叫无能的力量．为什么人类能发展到现在，能有社会，科学，音乐，国家，等等．　这不就是因为有些人不只是在布置好自己的生活而是在追求更多．在追求一个伟大的理想．这就是理想的力量．当天我告诉自己＂当个理想主义青年。想做就做吧，还有什么可怕的？＂　

 

One week back from Hong Kong and things have been going and going and going.  As always, i'm trying to juggle way too many jobs at the same time.  Saying my goodbyes to CCTV have been weird and kind of sad.  Just found out one of our producers is having a baby, and we all went out for Korean food.  Near the end I knew I was getting to be a bit of trouble for them because of my hectic schedule and procrastination, but I was, I think generally easy to work with. But this was going to happen eventually anyway and now that the powers that be have decided that's time for me to leave, we've all decided to make this a graceful exit.  So I'm getting them set up until the end of December which means lots more tapings and scripts to write. I even got to see the audition of the new girls for the show.  I'll miss the paycheck, but I think I'll miss working with them more. I only saw them three or four times a month, but it was an good family of friends at our little program.   Life has more things waiting for me, and this goodbye would have had to happen anyway. It's these things that push you forward, make you grow as an individual.

 

The Hitfm Job is still going.  I'm starting to reach a strange turning point there, with this hit pause feeling coming from Hit FM.  I love what I do there, and I enjoy the fact that I'm putting lots of music onto the air and that my audience is growing with me.  But again, I'm not doing enough for it. I'm back to doing events again, helping Nate's 3BM Partner with one of his events. The event was a blessing and it works perfectly with my current scattered patterns of thought.  It's not very difficult, especially compared to the Great Wall Concert and the Forbes Global Forum. No Government flunkies to deal with, no nasty stars and their nasty posse's, no disagreable Texans with too much ego and too little experience. This event is a series of manageable small occurances that happen one after another and give you plenty of time to solve it. Simon is very professional, through a bit grumpy at times, and the actor troupes are also. . . manageable.  The Chinese Theatre companies are nice people, but very 2nd tier.  So there are issues, because they don't understand the difference between putting a little wasted effort in as a precaution versus having a fuck-up and making the show look amateur.  But then again, we have a different system of loyalties really, so I can't necessarily blame them.  But frankly, they just don't know better.

 

The two bands, because of all these jobs, are nearly on haitus. I'm fantasizing about getting myself a whole month in the studio to write music and to create new songs to perform.  It's something that everyone wants to do, and I see the guys bursting with ideas all the time.  We're going through marvelous growing stage, and they've finally gotten to the place where they listen to music and pull from it intelligently, than create their own compositions.  After this event, that's what I want to do, go to the studio everyday to write music. Write a whole album in the space of weeks.  What do I care if it's commercial as long as it's good. I think in the last year, I'm finally learning to become an artist.  I kept on thinking about when I was happy, and I just remember being happiest playing a new song for someone and having the like it.  Writing music without too much fore-thought about what it meant to the market and more about what it meant to me.  So after the EP called "THE RETURN" is released, I will ironically return to myself.  If our music is good, we'll just have to keep performing and performing and honing our craft. THere's not much that can stop us after that.  Just one step at a time. . . when we're ready. 

 

Everything will come in time.  That's what god (without a capital G) has taught me all these years.  Everything has it's own clock, and you cannot rush it, you can only make yourself as prepared as possible and simply, stay tuned.  1 1/2 years after Perhaps Love, I have another minor role in a motion picture coming up. And maybe 3 years after that, I'll finally get to star in one. . . who knows.